What’s In The Green New Deal


The Green New Deal, a set of proposals aimed at combating climate change, is being championed by many progressive leaders, although its detractors say it is unrealistic and economically unfeasible. The Onion takes a deep dive into the Green New Deal to look at its most significant policy items.


10-year plan to phase out all Baby Boomers


Enough infrastructure revitalization proposals to satisfy the biggest bridge nuts


15 additional trees (location TBD)


WWII-style mobilization to invade, occupy, and overthrow the sun


Force oil companies to pay more than usual to control outcome of 2020 elections


Mandatory confiscation of all firearms


Plans to make water drinkable and non-toxic all over the U.S., not just the wealthy parts


Parents will only be allowed one regular child and one clean-burning child


Ban on kites to increase supply of farmable wind


Does it even matter? You’ve already decided how you feel about it.



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